Post by countlivin on Apr 23, 2019 4:43:30 GMT
Chapter 15: The Underbrush
Penn Cassidy
Penn Cassidy slid under the fence as if she was born to do so. There was a spot at the corner of District One where the fence had been dug under by animals, shallow, but large enough to allow her to pass through unharmed. Even if the electric fence was armed right now, she would be fine to crawl under. She knew from her father's rantings that the fence was hardly ever lit—only when there were escapees from prison. They were just making it all too easy for her.
Penn felt dishonest about leaving, she truly did. She wished her father had come on this journey with her. No matter how it felt at times, she knew he did love her, but she had come to the conclusion that he had been holding her back all this time. She didn't understand why so badly he had wished her not to be in the Games. They were the only thing she felt she knew. The Games would bring her purpose… Yes… They had to.
"Woo!" Penn shouted when she jumped to her feet on the other side of the fence. She felt adrenaline coursing through her veins. She was, as of now, no longer a member of District One. She wished Dray had been here to watch her succeed.
Her boyfriend had so wanted to come with her, the sweet guy. That's what he had told her all night as she gave him goodbye kisses. She was glad she had at least one man in her life who was willing to support her. She stood by her decision, though, to leave him behind. He would only have gotten in the way. And when Penn arrived back, a victor, she didn't want to live in boring District Nine with him. They would hail her a hero in District One.
It felt good, being a fugitive. Penn gazed around into the beautiful forest around her. No one could tell her what to do out here. Not her father, Not District One, not the Capitol, not even President Snow… No one…
Penn turned back to face to the fence to face the District she had called home for so many years of her life. She promptly raised her arm in the air and threw up her middle finger, closely followed by her other one. She danced around in the dirt there for a moment, letting the morning breeze wash over her.
Once she was done, she sighed, and walked into the unknown. She had no idea how far it was to District Nine, but she would get there eventually. She had packed so much food, she thought she might have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a year… But it wouldn't take her a year. The world wasn't that big. She thought it must be a few miles or more—any more and this hike would be more of an expedition. She just had to make it there as soon as possible… As Daddy had said, she wouldn't be eligible for the Reaping after the age of eighteen. She had to make it this year. She couldn't miss this.
As she zigzagged through the forest, Penn allowed herself to see its beauty. The light shone through gaps between the trees, lighting the path ahead. As it was very early in the autumn, leaves had just begun to fall from their branches, and the wind was strewing them all over the forest floor. It was peaceful and serene here, and it brought her a kind of joy, the most she'd felt since waking up. After she won the Hunger Games, she would have to bring Dray back here.
Penn imagined that District Nine had some sort of Town Hall, similar to the one in District One. She only had to find it and announce her plans to volunteer. They would obviously accept with no questions asked. After all, she was offering to win the Games for them. The only thing she would ask is for a share of the winnings, to make sure her family was secure. She would let Nine have the rest. What did she need all that food and money for? It would be awfully selfish of her to hoard it all back to One.
And, from what she had heard, District Nine rarely had a volunteer. If there was a volunteer this time, Penn would have to get more creative, but she was banking on that not happening. The way she saw it, she was liberating them from having to choose one of their own, sacrificing one of their own girls. Maybe she should have brought one of the guys from the Hall of Careers… She cursed herself. Her plan was too good not to share it with someone.
Trudging through the forest, Penn began to recollect her goodbyes this morning. She had woken up at the break of dawn, careful not to wake up her boyfriend. She had crawled out the window, since her house had never been much for silences (creaking with the slightest footsteps). After she had made it away without waking her father, she would be home free.
But, surprisingly, before she even escaped the town, Dray came up behind her, weary from sleep. His black hair had fallen all in disarray and he had hastily thrown on a pair of pants—her pants, and they were way too small. He hadn't had enough time to pick a shirt, and had left his muscular chest all exposed.
"Are you leaving?" Dray asked groggily, his first words that morning.
"Yes," she had replied. "I didn't want to wake you."
"I wanted to say goodbye," he said. "I've been thinking… Last night, you were kind of mean to your father. I know what he was telling you was garbage, but he did have a few good points."
Yesterday, Penn would have punched anyone in the gut for defending her father, but now, after a full night's rest, she was willing to listen to reason. "Like what?"
"Everything he wanted was for you," he said. His eyes were big and glossy, and were full of pain. "I looked at him last night and saw a man who would do anything to protect his daughter. I guess it just hurt him when she wanted to get herself… wanted to be in the Games to be rid of him. You responded to what he thought was protection with anger. I don't know… I just think you went a little overboard on him."
Guilt began to flood Penn's mind, because she had known he was right. It was a terrible feeling, but she needed to have it. "I know what you're saying, and I get it," she told him. "Maybe I was a bit hard on Daddy. But last night… I don't know, I was just so angry. I couldn't handle it. Has there ever been a time when you've felt like that, Dray?"
"There was one time," he answered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "We talked about it a lot before, but… yeah, you wouldn't remember."
"What was that?"
He had backed away, towards the house, and Penn had been worried he meant to run, but he hadn't. "I went off on you, about a month ago."
"On me?" Penn was surprised. She stepped forward, folding her hands beneath her. "What was it about?"
He had opened his mouth, but had caught himself from saying anything. He turned away, tears in his eyes. "No, I don't want to start this again. Can we just pretend it didn't happen?"
Penn hadn't responded, bewildered by her boyfriend's odd response. She just walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'll see you later, yeah?"
Dray smiled. "Yeah. Give 'em hell for me."
Penn laughed, and kissed him full on the lips. There came a whistle from one of the cottages to her right, and a laugh from the man who'd won the Seventh Games. "I love you, Dray."
Dray nodded. He never said he loved her.
Back in the present, Penn looked behind her. District One's fence was no longer in sight. There was no turning back now. All that was there to occupy Penn's thoughts now was Dray's goodbye. No. She wouldn't think about that anymore. This was a good day, and she didn't want to ruin it by souring her mood. It probably didn't even mean anything.
Penn spent her time hiking on the way to District Nine playing a game with herself. She would try to remember everything she could about her life before her fall in the ravine. It was coming back piece by piece, fading in and out. Every now and then, she would catch a glimpse of something she thought was a memory. Maybe she had made it up, maybe she hadn't…
She zipped up her brown windbreaker, as it was growing chilly. Whenever she tried to think about something, it was a dark spot in her mind, like there was something there, but it was blocked or covered up. She knew how to speak, to read… And she knew how to kill. Everything else she knew only because Dray or her father had told her.
She thought about Dray, about his goodbye. The thoughts came unbidden, so she tried to focus on other ones, and found she didn't have any. They were all covered up. She couldn't remember how they had met… their first kiss… anything. And that made her the saddest of all.
Maybe those memories would come back if she recreated them. She decided she would put the idea to Dray the next time she saw him. She wanted to know who he was… But thinking that came dangerously close to "she wanted to know who she was…"
It was best not to dwell on the past, she decided. She would make new memories, fonder ones, after this was all over. But for right now, she needed to focus on getting to District Nine. That was all that mattered. She picked up her pace.
When the sun was high in the sky above her, beating down through the canopy and onto her head, she decided she was hungry. She sat down there on a stump and pulled out the peanut butter, the loaf of bread she had pulled from the pantry, and a small butter knife. It smelled so good, she wanted to break down and scarf it down right there, but not before she put on the jelly…
Once it was all done, Penn sat back happily on her log and munched on the sandwich. Behind her, she could hear the soft, constant flow of the creek she had been walking parallel to. She hoped that it didn't cross her path—then she would be forced to ford the river, or climb over, and she really didn't want to get wet. These were all the clothes she had…
There was a small rustle in the bushes behind her, and she yelped, leaping up from the log in fright. Other people might have let go of the sandwich in their terror, but Penn only clutched onto it harder. She whipped her head around, her jet-black hair flapping in the wind. Behind her was not a snarling wolf or a pouncing bobcat, but… well, she didn't know what it was.
It looked sort of like an armadillo, except it had much bigger eyes, and floppy ears that fell to the ground. As it waddled toward her on short, stubby legs, it looked up at Penn with big black eyes, waiting expectantly. It shivered visibly; was it cold? It was quite possibly the cutest thing that Penn had ever seen.
"What's your name?" Penn asked, kneeling down to the strange little creature. It responded by making a series of short chirps from its nostrils, and nudged closer to Penn. Its big, soft eyes darted back and forth from Penn to the peanut butter sandwich, and Penn thought she knew what it wanted.
57% of readers chose to [B. Share your sandwich with the creature.]
"Do you want some?" She tore off a bit of her sandwich and handed it to the armadillo creature.
But it bypassed the sandwich altogether, reaching straight for the outstretched hand behind it. It opened its mouth wide to reveal a jaw full of long, pointy teeth, and clamped down hard on Penn's wrist. She wasn't sure what hit harder—the surprise, or the pain. The pain, most likely… It felt like a billion white hot irons digging into her skin. Yes… the pain…
She instinctively leapt into the air and shook her arm around, but the creature wouldn't let go, and it only grew more and more painful the more its teeth ripped around her hand. Blood was slowly gushing from the bite, and drenching the ground around her.
Penn cried and hit the armadillo twice in the snout. It didn't budge, so she resorted to grabbing a fallen tree branch beside her. She snapped it on her shin violently and swiftly jabbed into the armadillo, but… its shell was hard as iron.
Feeling the stabs, and the attempts at its life, the armadillo let go of Penn's hand and leapt up onto her, its claws digging into her chest and clothes. When the creature got close to her jugular, she caught it, one hand on each jaw. It shifted her weight and both of them went tumbling down to the ground. But for the two of them, all the forest was silent.
The mud gave out from under Penn, and they both ended up rolling down a long hill into a shallow creek below. The mud caked her hair and her eyes, blinding her, but the water had washed into her wound, making it feel much better. She dunked her head underwater for a moment, and came up feeling more alive than she ever had before.
She threw the animal against the ground as hard as she could, making a sudden splat against the soft mud. Before it could reorient itself, Penn had her knife in hand, the one in the sheath at her side. She knelt down to the armadillo and stabbed it in the stomach, right underneath the heart. And then, feeling adrenaline coursing through her, she stabbed it again. And again. And again.
Once the animal was dead, Penn composed herself. She was thoroughly caked in mud. She spent half an hour (or so she judged by the position of the sun) scrubbing it all off in the river… the mud and the blood. There were flecks of it on her face…
Is this who I am? she wondered. She had known she could kill from what her father and boyfriend had told her, but she didn't know it could feel so… she didn't know how it could feel. Why had she done that? The animal was dead after the first thrust of her dagger… That scared her more than anything—more than her loss of memory, more than the Hunger Games…
And so, with tears in her eyes, and doubt in her heart, Penn threw the bloody dagger as hard and far as she could, and it went plunk down in the water at the far end of the creek. She didn't want to be that girl—the murderer… That wasn't why she was doing this.
Penn made her way back up the side of the hill, haunted by the brutality of what she had just done. Only when the adrenaline had all faded away did she realize how much her arm hurt. The bite looked gnarly, spreading all the way from wrist to forearm. She ripped off a piece of her muddy blouse, exposing her belly, and tied it around her arm, instantly soaking the linen red. She would need to get it looked at when she got to District Nine.
She walked for what seemed like forever. When she looked up at the sun to see how long she'd been out, she saw it was half past noon. She had been walking for six hours give or take. The further she walked, the forest became less and less dense until there were barely any trees and a field as far as she could see. Everything was flat, and the grass was tall and yellow. It tickled when she touched her fingers to it—the fingers of her good hand. For the first time since she woke up, Penn could see the whole sky with no cloud cover or trees blocking her vision. It looked… peaceful… She almost regretted having to leave it behind for the Hunger Games. Almost…
But it wasn't peaceful. The bite on her arm was proof enough of that. Penn reflected that she would not want to come and live out here after this was all done. She wanted to stay in District One, where she had made her home the past two weeks. Her father wanted to go live in the Capitol to find Mom. She didn't see any reason that she couldn't go with him.
After walking another hour, Penn came to a long fence. It ran as far as she could see in either direction, and the wires were only inches apart. It was tighter and more secure than the fence in District One, ten feet high, and at the top, there was a brightly-colored sign warning of the danger. It looked, for the most part, the same as the other one. Penn stepped carefully toward it.
It could be electrified, she reflected. She really didn't want to walk all the way around to find another entrance. Time was wasting… But the voltage was turned off in District One because the Capitol trusted them not to escape. She had heard it was different with the other Districts.
So, carefully, she bent down next to the fence and picked up a small earthworm from the soil. It wiggled around in her fingers before she dropped it on one of the wires. Nothing happened. The worm simply fell back down to the ground and burrowed away. So it wasn't electric… That was a relief.
Then she wished she hadn't thrown away her knife. If she hadn't she could have cut through the wires. It would have been difficult, but she could have done it. When she looked up, the top of the fence was daunting, incredibly intimidating. What if it turned on as she was climbing?
But what other option did she have? Penn placed a hand on a wire, relaxed when she didn't feel a thousand volts of electricity and began to climb. It was difficult climbing, since the wires were flimsy and would occasionally give out from under her foot, but soon enough she was at the top of the fence. Victory was so close she could almost taste it…
When she hopped down on the other side, tears came to her eyes. She remembered something. One of the shadowy veils had been ripped away… She saw Dray standing there in his stupid cap before her, and she saw her father, and in the distance, a tornado ripping up the earth…
It was seven months ago, she remembered. There had been a huge whirlwind north of District One. It had ripped up a huge chunk from the forest. Everyone was safe inside, but she had thought it was a nice idea to tear up the road.
Dray had come out to stop her, protesting through wind-strewn hair. "The storm is dangerous! Get inside now!" he had yelled at her. But she hadn't listened. Every time he tried to tell her, she would scoff and get closer to it. And then…
The slap stung, even harder remembering about it now than when it had actually happened. Dray had hit her… Then, standing there in the wheat fields beside the fence to District Nine, covered in mud and blood, she remembered their goodbye. He had never told her he loved her, and now she knew why. She felt the overwhelming urge to cry. But she didn't. She was a tribute now. She needed to be confident, cool, collected. They would never let her volunteer if they saw weakness in her.
She stepped away from the fence, into the massive field that was District Nine. She needed to get to town before nightfall, to get a doctor to see about her bandage, but the nightfall came and went. It was three days before she found the town.
On the top of the hill, Penn saw the valley beneath her. They were so high up now, she could see the curvature of the earth, a breathtaking visage. It was miles away, but at the bottom of the valley there laid a town. It wasn't much larger than One, but she knew it was where she needed to go. When Penn took her first step forward, she finally let herself weep. She finally had a direction to travel on her journey. She had given up so much to be here. This was where Penn needed to be. This was her purpose.
End of Chapter 15
Penn Cassidy
Penn Cassidy slid under the fence as if she was born to do so. There was a spot at the corner of District One where the fence had been dug under by animals, shallow, but large enough to allow her to pass through unharmed. Even if the electric fence was armed right now, she would be fine to crawl under. She knew from her father's rantings that the fence was hardly ever lit—only when there were escapees from prison. They were just making it all too easy for her.
Penn felt dishonest about leaving, she truly did. She wished her father had come on this journey with her. No matter how it felt at times, she knew he did love her, but she had come to the conclusion that he had been holding her back all this time. She didn't understand why so badly he had wished her not to be in the Games. They were the only thing she felt she knew. The Games would bring her purpose… Yes… They had to.
"Woo!" Penn shouted when she jumped to her feet on the other side of the fence. She felt adrenaline coursing through her veins. She was, as of now, no longer a member of District One. She wished Dray had been here to watch her succeed.
Her boyfriend had so wanted to come with her, the sweet guy. That's what he had told her all night as she gave him goodbye kisses. She was glad she had at least one man in her life who was willing to support her. She stood by her decision, though, to leave him behind. He would only have gotten in the way. And when Penn arrived back, a victor, she didn't want to live in boring District Nine with him. They would hail her a hero in District One.
It felt good, being a fugitive. Penn gazed around into the beautiful forest around her. No one could tell her what to do out here. Not her father, Not District One, not the Capitol, not even President Snow… No one…
Penn turned back to face to the fence to face the District she had called home for so many years of her life. She promptly raised her arm in the air and threw up her middle finger, closely followed by her other one. She danced around in the dirt there for a moment, letting the morning breeze wash over her.
Once she was done, she sighed, and walked into the unknown. She had no idea how far it was to District Nine, but she would get there eventually. She had packed so much food, she thought she might have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a year… But it wouldn't take her a year. The world wasn't that big. She thought it must be a few miles or more—any more and this hike would be more of an expedition. She just had to make it there as soon as possible… As Daddy had said, she wouldn't be eligible for the Reaping after the age of eighteen. She had to make it this year. She couldn't miss this.
As she zigzagged through the forest, Penn allowed herself to see its beauty. The light shone through gaps between the trees, lighting the path ahead. As it was very early in the autumn, leaves had just begun to fall from their branches, and the wind was strewing them all over the forest floor. It was peaceful and serene here, and it brought her a kind of joy, the most she'd felt since waking up. After she won the Hunger Games, she would have to bring Dray back here.
Penn imagined that District Nine had some sort of Town Hall, similar to the one in District One. She only had to find it and announce her plans to volunteer. They would obviously accept with no questions asked. After all, she was offering to win the Games for them. The only thing she would ask is for a share of the winnings, to make sure her family was secure. She would let Nine have the rest. What did she need all that food and money for? It would be awfully selfish of her to hoard it all back to One.
And, from what she had heard, District Nine rarely had a volunteer. If there was a volunteer this time, Penn would have to get more creative, but she was banking on that not happening. The way she saw it, she was liberating them from having to choose one of their own, sacrificing one of their own girls. Maybe she should have brought one of the guys from the Hall of Careers… She cursed herself. Her plan was too good not to share it with someone.
Trudging through the forest, Penn began to recollect her goodbyes this morning. She had woken up at the break of dawn, careful not to wake up her boyfriend. She had crawled out the window, since her house had never been much for silences (creaking with the slightest footsteps). After she had made it away without waking her father, she would be home free.
But, surprisingly, before she even escaped the town, Dray came up behind her, weary from sleep. His black hair had fallen all in disarray and he had hastily thrown on a pair of pants—her pants, and they were way too small. He hadn't had enough time to pick a shirt, and had left his muscular chest all exposed.
"Are you leaving?" Dray asked groggily, his first words that morning.
"Yes," she had replied. "I didn't want to wake you."
"I wanted to say goodbye," he said. "I've been thinking… Last night, you were kind of mean to your father. I know what he was telling you was garbage, but he did have a few good points."
Yesterday, Penn would have punched anyone in the gut for defending her father, but now, after a full night's rest, she was willing to listen to reason. "Like what?"
"Everything he wanted was for you," he said. His eyes were big and glossy, and were full of pain. "I looked at him last night and saw a man who would do anything to protect his daughter. I guess it just hurt him when she wanted to get herself… wanted to be in the Games to be rid of him. You responded to what he thought was protection with anger. I don't know… I just think you went a little overboard on him."
Guilt began to flood Penn's mind, because she had known he was right. It was a terrible feeling, but she needed to have it. "I know what you're saying, and I get it," she told him. "Maybe I was a bit hard on Daddy. But last night… I don't know, I was just so angry. I couldn't handle it. Has there ever been a time when you've felt like that, Dray?"
"There was one time," he answered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "We talked about it a lot before, but… yeah, you wouldn't remember."
"What was that?"
He had backed away, towards the house, and Penn had been worried he meant to run, but he hadn't. "I went off on you, about a month ago."
"On me?" Penn was surprised. She stepped forward, folding her hands beneath her. "What was it about?"
He had opened his mouth, but had caught himself from saying anything. He turned away, tears in his eyes. "No, I don't want to start this again. Can we just pretend it didn't happen?"
Penn hadn't responded, bewildered by her boyfriend's odd response. She just walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'll see you later, yeah?"
Dray smiled. "Yeah. Give 'em hell for me."
Penn laughed, and kissed him full on the lips. There came a whistle from one of the cottages to her right, and a laugh from the man who'd won the Seventh Games. "I love you, Dray."
Dray nodded. He never said he loved her.
Back in the present, Penn looked behind her. District One's fence was no longer in sight. There was no turning back now. All that was there to occupy Penn's thoughts now was Dray's goodbye. No. She wouldn't think about that anymore. This was a good day, and she didn't want to ruin it by souring her mood. It probably didn't even mean anything.
Penn spent her time hiking on the way to District Nine playing a game with herself. She would try to remember everything she could about her life before her fall in the ravine. It was coming back piece by piece, fading in and out. Every now and then, she would catch a glimpse of something she thought was a memory. Maybe she had made it up, maybe she hadn't…
She zipped up her brown windbreaker, as it was growing chilly. Whenever she tried to think about something, it was a dark spot in her mind, like there was something there, but it was blocked or covered up. She knew how to speak, to read… And she knew how to kill. Everything else she knew only because Dray or her father had told her.
She thought about Dray, about his goodbye. The thoughts came unbidden, so she tried to focus on other ones, and found she didn't have any. They were all covered up. She couldn't remember how they had met… their first kiss… anything. And that made her the saddest of all.
Maybe those memories would come back if she recreated them. She decided she would put the idea to Dray the next time she saw him. She wanted to know who he was… But thinking that came dangerously close to "she wanted to know who she was…"
It was best not to dwell on the past, she decided. She would make new memories, fonder ones, after this was all over. But for right now, she needed to focus on getting to District Nine. That was all that mattered. She picked up her pace.
When the sun was high in the sky above her, beating down through the canopy and onto her head, she decided she was hungry. She sat down there on a stump and pulled out the peanut butter, the loaf of bread she had pulled from the pantry, and a small butter knife. It smelled so good, she wanted to break down and scarf it down right there, but not before she put on the jelly…
Once it was all done, Penn sat back happily on her log and munched on the sandwich. Behind her, she could hear the soft, constant flow of the creek she had been walking parallel to. She hoped that it didn't cross her path—then she would be forced to ford the river, or climb over, and she really didn't want to get wet. These were all the clothes she had…
There was a small rustle in the bushes behind her, and she yelped, leaping up from the log in fright. Other people might have let go of the sandwich in their terror, but Penn only clutched onto it harder. She whipped her head around, her jet-black hair flapping in the wind. Behind her was not a snarling wolf or a pouncing bobcat, but… well, she didn't know what it was.
It looked sort of like an armadillo, except it had much bigger eyes, and floppy ears that fell to the ground. As it waddled toward her on short, stubby legs, it looked up at Penn with big black eyes, waiting expectantly. It shivered visibly; was it cold? It was quite possibly the cutest thing that Penn had ever seen.
"What's your name?" Penn asked, kneeling down to the strange little creature. It responded by making a series of short chirps from its nostrils, and nudged closer to Penn. Its big, soft eyes darted back and forth from Penn to the peanut butter sandwich, and Penn thought she knew what it wanted.
57% of readers chose to [B. Share your sandwich with the creature.]
"Do you want some?" She tore off a bit of her sandwich and handed it to the armadillo creature.
But it bypassed the sandwich altogether, reaching straight for the outstretched hand behind it. It opened its mouth wide to reveal a jaw full of long, pointy teeth, and clamped down hard on Penn's wrist. She wasn't sure what hit harder—the surprise, or the pain. The pain, most likely… It felt like a billion white hot irons digging into her skin. Yes… the pain…
She instinctively leapt into the air and shook her arm around, but the creature wouldn't let go, and it only grew more and more painful the more its teeth ripped around her hand. Blood was slowly gushing from the bite, and drenching the ground around her.
Penn cried and hit the armadillo twice in the snout. It didn't budge, so she resorted to grabbing a fallen tree branch beside her. She snapped it on her shin violently and swiftly jabbed into the armadillo, but… its shell was hard as iron.
Feeling the stabs, and the attempts at its life, the armadillo let go of Penn's hand and leapt up onto her, its claws digging into her chest and clothes. When the creature got close to her jugular, she caught it, one hand on each jaw. It shifted her weight and both of them went tumbling down to the ground. But for the two of them, all the forest was silent.
The mud gave out from under Penn, and they both ended up rolling down a long hill into a shallow creek below. The mud caked her hair and her eyes, blinding her, but the water had washed into her wound, making it feel much better. She dunked her head underwater for a moment, and came up feeling more alive than she ever had before.
She threw the animal against the ground as hard as she could, making a sudden splat against the soft mud. Before it could reorient itself, Penn had her knife in hand, the one in the sheath at her side. She knelt down to the armadillo and stabbed it in the stomach, right underneath the heart. And then, feeling adrenaline coursing through her, she stabbed it again. And again. And again.
Once the animal was dead, Penn composed herself. She was thoroughly caked in mud. She spent half an hour (or so she judged by the position of the sun) scrubbing it all off in the river… the mud and the blood. There were flecks of it on her face…
Is this who I am? she wondered. She had known she could kill from what her father and boyfriend had told her, but she didn't know it could feel so… she didn't know how it could feel. Why had she done that? The animal was dead after the first thrust of her dagger… That scared her more than anything—more than her loss of memory, more than the Hunger Games…
And so, with tears in her eyes, and doubt in her heart, Penn threw the bloody dagger as hard and far as she could, and it went plunk down in the water at the far end of the creek. She didn't want to be that girl—the murderer… That wasn't why she was doing this.
Penn made her way back up the side of the hill, haunted by the brutality of what she had just done. Only when the adrenaline had all faded away did she realize how much her arm hurt. The bite looked gnarly, spreading all the way from wrist to forearm. She ripped off a piece of her muddy blouse, exposing her belly, and tied it around her arm, instantly soaking the linen red. She would need to get it looked at when she got to District Nine.
She walked for what seemed like forever. When she looked up at the sun to see how long she'd been out, she saw it was half past noon. She had been walking for six hours give or take. The further she walked, the forest became less and less dense until there were barely any trees and a field as far as she could see. Everything was flat, and the grass was tall and yellow. It tickled when she touched her fingers to it—the fingers of her good hand. For the first time since she woke up, Penn could see the whole sky with no cloud cover or trees blocking her vision. It looked… peaceful… She almost regretted having to leave it behind for the Hunger Games. Almost…
But it wasn't peaceful. The bite on her arm was proof enough of that. Penn reflected that she would not want to come and live out here after this was all done. She wanted to stay in District One, where she had made her home the past two weeks. Her father wanted to go live in the Capitol to find Mom. She didn't see any reason that she couldn't go with him.
After walking another hour, Penn came to a long fence. It ran as far as she could see in either direction, and the wires were only inches apart. It was tighter and more secure than the fence in District One, ten feet high, and at the top, there was a brightly-colored sign warning of the danger. It looked, for the most part, the same as the other one. Penn stepped carefully toward it.
It could be electrified, she reflected. She really didn't want to walk all the way around to find another entrance. Time was wasting… But the voltage was turned off in District One because the Capitol trusted them not to escape. She had heard it was different with the other Districts.
So, carefully, she bent down next to the fence and picked up a small earthworm from the soil. It wiggled around in her fingers before she dropped it on one of the wires. Nothing happened. The worm simply fell back down to the ground and burrowed away. So it wasn't electric… That was a relief.
Then she wished she hadn't thrown away her knife. If she hadn't she could have cut through the wires. It would have been difficult, but she could have done it. When she looked up, the top of the fence was daunting, incredibly intimidating. What if it turned on as she was climbing?
But what other option did she have? Penn placed a hand on a wire, relaxed when she didn't feel a thousand volts of electricity and began to climb. It was difficult climbing, since the wires were flimsy and would occasionally give out from under her foot, but soon enough she was at the top of the fence. Victory was so close she could almost taste it…
When she hopped down on the other side, tears came to her eyes. She remembered something. One of the shadowy veils had been ripped away… She saw Dray standing there in his stupid cap before her, and she saw her father, and in the distance, a tornado ripping up the earth…
It was seven months ago, she remembered. There had been a huge whirlwind north of District One. It had ripped up a huge chunk from the forest. Everyone was safe inside, but she had thought it was a nice idea to tear up the road.
Dray had come out to stop her, protesting through wind-strewn hair. "The storm is dangerous! Get inside now!" he had yelled at her. But she hadn't listened. Every time he tried to tell her, she would scoff and get closer to it. And then…
The slap stung, even harder remembering about it now than when it had actually happened. Dray had hit her… Then, standing there in the wheat fields beside the fence to District Nine, covered in mud and blood, she remembered their goodbye. He had never told her he loved her, and now she knew why. She felt the overwhelming urge to cry. But she didn't. She was a tribute now. She needed to be confident, cool, collected. They would never let her volunteer if they saw weakness in her.
She stepped away from the fence, into the massive field that was District Nine. She needed to get to town before nightfall, to get a doctor to see about her bandage, but the nightfall came and went. It was three days before she found the town.
On the top of the hill, Penn saw the valley beneath her. They were so high up now, she could see the curvature of the earth, a breathtaking visage. It was miles away, but at the bottom of the valley there laid a town. It wasn't much larger than One, but she knew it was where she needed to go. When Penn took her first step forward, she finally let herself weep. She finally had a direction to travel on her journey. She had given up so much to be here. This was where Penn needed to be. This was her purpose.
End of Chapter 15